I agree 100% about how you speak of your ex. If you think they’re a piece of garbage, yet that was who you were with, what does that say about you?

My last relationship ended in a fiery bloody mess (half literally) and I still defend her to a point because that was who I was with. She was a reflection of me and I don’t think she was garbage. She had her issues and I hope that she sorts them out, but understand where she was coming from and I hoped that ending it pushed her in a better direction.

#3 is a bad one. If they don’t have any friends, you become their entire world and that just sucks.

Not to go diagnosing strangers on the Internet, but I wonder if Darwin was a narcissist. His behavior seems in line with that.

Narcissists often throw themselves into relationships with lots of big gestures and over-the-top professions while they’re in the idealization phase, during which the partner can do no wrong. But after awhile, usually a few months, the golden haze wears off, and the narcissist devalues and discards the partner, abruptly dumping him/her, often quite callously and without a reasonable explanation. Other hallmarks of narcissists include trouble maintaining interpersonal relationships of all kinds and a relentlessly sour attitude toward others. Though narcissists may be very sociable and charming in public, those who see their private sides know they always have something bad to say about everyone. This, of course, is doubly true of anyone they’ve dated.

Of course, I have no way of knowing if Darwin really was a narcissist, but narcissists cause a lot of emotional damage, so I like to spread the word about them in hopes that more people will be aware of the warning signs. Of all the signs there are, extravagant, romantic displays too early on are some of the best indicators.

These are all great signs, and are the basic classical ones really. I do agree that seeing them does not stop you from pursuing the relationship, but, it should make you take pause and really look it over. I do have to say though the more signs that pop up, the quicker I would be to decide this one wasn’t for me and move on. Number 3 about friends for me is a huge one, followed right behind with number one about ex’s. Like everyone else has said already, its also a reflection on how you were too but a lot of people will not see it in that fashion, which means they have not learned and grown from the experience.

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Alex Anderson
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