Yukon men https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Canada/state-of-Yukon-Territory.html?gender=male
Italian men https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Italy-dating-service.html?gender=male
Turkish men https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Turkey-dating-service.html?gender=male
Puerto rican men https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Puerto-Rico-dating-service.html?gender=male
African men https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/South-Africa-dating-service.html?gender=male

This one is new to me. I’ve been talking to a single guy in email for a week or so. Long enough to share some truly useless minutiae and not much more, you know? He asks about pets so I tell him about my two cats, and how I’m trying to find a new home for one of them. It’s a rough process because I’m not placing this kitty just anywhere and I am not getting the right kind of response for him.

The guy asked to adopt my cat. And he meant it. And what’s more, he seriously seemed to believe I would go for it.

As if. I’m not even sure if I’ll go on a date with him yet, let alone entrust the health and safety of a beloved animal with him. Seriously. He actually seemed disappointed when I politely declined.

You know, it’s easy to be flip and cheeky about dating do’s and don’ts and the funny things that happen out there. There is a lot to poke at, to be sure. But sometimes, even a One Date Wonder (or especially one) can get a bit melancholy about the whole thing.

As a single gal in my 30s, sometimes the whole thing is just scary. I mean, I have a good life. I have a stable job, a great apartment, and I can afford what I need and most of what I want in life. I have a supportive network of fabulous family and friends who I thank my lucky stars for every single day. But every single day when I’m doing that? I’m alone.

The truth is that I hate going to bed alone night after night. I could be flip about sex here, but that’s not what I mean. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life dating and coming home at night to a cat and an empty bed. I want to share my life with someone. And even this sarcastic chick doesn’t want to be alone.

I joke about not settling and not sacrificing, and it’s true that I’m picky. I’m scared of repeating the disaster of divorce. If I ever try to settle down again, I want to be sure it will last. I want to be sure I’m not making the same mistakes I’ve made in the past. I want to be sure my future won’t hold another painful split up. So I’m selective. I’m easily turned off. I’m fast to run away. I’m protective of my heart and my life. And it’s easy to make that funny, but maybe it’s not as entertaining when you see it this way.

The thing you rarely see and that I’ll rarely share is that sometimes I cry myself to sleep. I cry because my life wasn’t supposed to be this way. And I cry because I’m afraid this may be all I ever have. And while I know that if this life is the best it gets than I’m pretty damn lucky, I still feel just a little sad and empty inside.

Go figure, even a notorious One Date Wonder has feelings and dreams. And some days I think it might just be easier if I didn’t.

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Owner:
Alex Anderson
Created on:
2020-01-15
Languages:
English
Membership policy:
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